The universe really does have a way of bringing to you a tailored recipe for your healing to happen and bring you into a whole version of you. Or we can say, our mind will play out by attracting to us, that which needs attention and healing in order for us to return to our original innocence.
I have always struggled with very low self esteem except I never realised this until much much later. Why so later? Well, because low self esteem has a way of wrapping itself under other pseudonyms such as codependency, overconfidence, never standing up for oneself, people pleasing, too open, over giving, over extending oneself, anger, passive aggressive, narcissist, and even fear of confrontation or rather an absolute avoidance of it even if it means sidelining your own values.
When we don’t stand our ground or assert ourselves, we build a resentment that will lead into angry outbursts or over reactions that having nothing much to do with the present moment. If you like me have had a hard time standing your ground, people pleasing and compromise your values to avoid confrontation, then chances are, you might even feel a sadness you cannot shake off.
Low self esteem starts to develop when we have not received good enough validation and acceptance with a safe space to be as infants toddlers and adolescents. If you grew up around parents who fought a lot and eventually parted, that will translate as standing up for yourself is dangerous because people leave you. If your caregiving was overly strict and you were rarely given a chance to speak let alone express your own ideas thoughts and mind, you will have a difficult time being you and will make up a “you” that fits in; all the while attracting a similar situation to your childhood as that’s what you know as how it’s supposed to be, and secondarily, it’s a calling to return to wholeness by walking yourself through the graveyard of wounds you may have cast off as too worthless to pay much heed to, just as you see yourself.
Self esteem is a tricky one because of how it manifests.
Where are you on this? Can you do a joining of the dots exercise to excavate the root of why you?
Much love
Mama
