But where to start? How do I love myself? And what we have out there as a recipe for self love sounds like a bit of self indulgence if you ask me. It doesn’t really deal with the root of why I even come to this juncture of needing self love. I mean we can really be in need of something we “need” right? Unless what we seek is some level of acceptable self indulgence that is not just desirable but another reason to keep is locked in a mindset that says, “hell I don’t need you, I have me!”; or “get out of my face as it’s all about me now and I have Mr X my motivation guru who says so”; or “nah can’t be bothered to help out with the less fortunate today and oh don’t even start with the old lady down the road who ermmm needs me to get her groceries, nope I just ain’t gonna do any of it, I need to love myself after all and here is where I draw my boundary, heeeeellllll NO”.

I thought a revisit to the self love woods was in the cards today given that my bubba is in a transition with his nap. He is between one nap and no nap. I am between one week of sleep and one month of sleep! Ha ha ha. I asked myself whether it is right for me to set boundaries for my 23 month old bubba. After all I said to myself, “ermmm I gotta love myself right nobody else will do boundary needs to be set!”. And then my intuition knocked my heart and said, “woooooohooooo what the fudge! Are you alright miss or did you forget bubba is only 23months old and he ain’t gonna understand your so called boundary. What you need to do is know your own boundary and that comes with self love, a love that says I love me and I am so engaged with the Self of me that I can give my bubba the space to be and when it gets too much for me, I can step away, breathe and come back.” 

Oh boy! 

Self love unfortunately is being thrown around as a recipe for the end of all our hang ups and dissonance in friendships relationships. Anything that challenges our belief system or threatens to take apart the “self love” we literally walk away. But ever thought of why this new adage “self love” is so darn dividing? If anything it has created boundaries that aren’t necessary because there is no danger. Boundaries exist to preserve the self. 

We have become a society consumed with:

I want to be me me me me 

I am me me me me me 

I love me me me me me 

I have me me me me 

I don’t need anyone to validate 

I don’t need anyone to approve of me 

I am me me me me 

Okay, so there is some merit in not seeking approval acceptance and not having the need to explain oneself but the lengths at which we are now going to “self love” are borderline bipolar and disturbingly tearing us all apart quite literally. We have become self indulged and have moved away from the root for this need.

Ever noticed how very secure people very rarely buy into any law of attraction or law of whatever or any placating of a promised land? 

Self love is unifying. It is when we are self engaged with our true identity which is no different to one another, hence it being a love that is all encompassing. It takes all under its wing. It has more than enough space. 

It is to be investigated without delay with zeal and enthusiasm why we are so much at odds with our true self in the name of “self love”. 

When we love, we love. That’s all.