At the best of times we will feel happy but not quite satisfied or full – there will be a need or want or desire something looming in you that says – I lack
This evening having put bubba down to bed earlier, I had ample time to enjoy the surrounding meadows and watch people walk on the footpath in the dairy farm. The grass is lush green and inviting, ready for the cows to feast on. The sun is setting and I ask myself how I am feeling. I do this a lot. The answer comes: “I feel so settled satiated and full….”
I think, “oh wow!” that’s certainly not what I echoed a year ago although I still felt very hopeful , well so I thought. That feeling and an inner knowing that you have completed the toughest cycle of your life and have in store ONLY a very smooth path, is balmy and soothing to the soul. There is a sense of reprieve release and surrender. It’s more ethereal than material and thus difficult to put it into any real words.
How many times do you feel “I have it all”? Seriously? Most of the times we are searching the web space for a promised land in better marketing strategies, bigger houses, business ideas, writing courses, and even joining workshops podcasts courses to improve the current version of us. Very rarely will we sit with the present time and feel fully immersed in that silence of “now”. We are too distracted by better us and better lives. We have too many standards of what our lives should look like.
What would you be doing if you had no bills to pay? Would you still be a healer, creative writer, fertility therapist, lawyer, accountant, and have a calling to that job? What would you really be doing if you had a choice? And what you are doing now is that out of choice or could it be a port you have arrived at for some therapy? Maybe you are to use the modality of your current chosen path as a healing tool? Could you by chance be writing and in turn be returning to wholeness but not because you write as a writer for writing? Perhaps once you have worked through your wounds, your true path may call you, and that may not be writing it could be a businessman or it could be a nursery teacher.
Many healers become healers so they can heal themselves; psychotherapists choose this path to understand their own wounds and in turn find respite for these too. How can you be sure that your chosen career path is in fact “chosen” and not created by a inner wisdom seeking to heal you? Or perhaps generated by your false sense of self that was borne of a coping mechanism as an infant who might have unmet infantile needs?
Most of us fall in the latter category but seldom do we recognise this. Mainly because we have come to believe that who we are is who we are, no questions asked even when things don’t go to plan or we wish things were different. We won’t look at the source of how we came to be as we are with our belief systems life values identity ideas principles stress response threshold and ability to love. We simply take ourselves at face value without questions until some event turns us in.
Why don’t we start off with that phrase, “I have it all” daily? Perhaps we associate it with the material possessions or popularity friends and foes.
Today, I have arrived at the port of me and all because I have it all – yes I do, I have the whole of me.
Do you have it all?