Oh when I heard one parent say “you can train them to do anything they are so absorbent!” I nearly sobbed! I thought these are our babies and not our doggies that need to be trained. And when you train your infant you are teaching them obedience which is a precursor to poor self image sense of self and a very distorted view of love.
Potty training or a more refined phrase “toilet learning” whichever phrase you choose to use, your mindset is what matters. Why do you feel the need to teach bubba about the toilet sooner than he needs to learn? Are those wet and dirty diapers really that annoying now? Can you check in to see whether bubba is developmentally ready to learn?
Yes we can show them the toilet and explain it’s uses. But if your bubba cannot control his bladder yet then why are you bent upon teaching him? I don’t see many healthy adults in diapers do you?
Teaching them to use the toilet too early can seriously affect their sense of self worth and esteem. They feel shame when really they don’t need to. If you were twenty and pooped in someone’s living room and just waited for mama to come and wipe your arse then yes maybe then it’s a bit shameful unless you medically cannot.
We can create a healthy awareness of the toilet so they know what it’s use it and let them know when they feel ready they can perhaps try and use the toilet. Keep a clean toilet area for them with a book to hand and a bag of wipes. Show them kindly what to do. If they can’t pull their pants down and poop on cue please don’t keep pushing this at all.
What’s the hurry anyway? What were you thinking when you started your parental journey in bed? That we will try and avoid bubba’s “stuff” as soon as we can or that we don’t really need to treat bubba as another person?
Have faith in your little ones. They know a great deal more than they are able to let on for a lack of awareness on our parts to miss their communications.
We like to hold their hands to walk up the stairs when they don’t actually need that at that stage. They will walk the stairs when they are ready to. And it’s the same with every other stage.
The pressure to learn can turn them into achievers as opposed to living fully in their wholeness. We want whole children and not half baked extensions of who we once were and our own versions of what we think they should be!
Let bubba decide when they will use the toilet. Till then chin up you are doing a swell job only a few can muster the courage to. At least consciously and with total engaged presence absolutely aware!
Potty train your mind instead so you can learn from the teachers on the go – our children!