For me this is a pregnant question and one of answered most honestly will bring in instant catharsis. Just knowing we might need a little help and then asking for it is itself a therapy. You might find these two steps alone do the trick. The need to engage someone outside of your own Self may not even be needed.
We trundle along the long winding road of life with all the baggage from a past we know and a past that is unknown to us. It is in the knowing of this unknown past that lies a lot of the debris that needs to be looked at. Because it is so unknown, the sense of self that comes from keeping it in the unknown is what we recognise as our self when it is in fact a mere mechanism to keep the unknown under wraps. Because it is not so unknown in the parts of our body and psyche that know as a part of our self that is embedded, the body will add to our sense of self this coded unknown which is only unknown in part to us – in what we call our conscious part.
What comes to be us which we call as ourself or who we are may not actually be us or even our nature. It is when this unknown part becomes known to our mind that we can then form a sense of self that’s real as opposed to one that’s created without fully knowing the unknown within us, and one that’s created in response to what that unknown part might be. It could be a traumatic event that happened before you had language so it’s embedded inside your implicit memory. Be that the case, it is what is responsible for what we cannot control as our reactions or even responses to life and people no matter what you do to shift these. (Not the people! Well maybe for some.)
Seeking help is not something we ever think of as a given. It is rare to know we need help, and even more scarce to ask for help. Help can range from anything like asking a passerby help you carry your shopping because it is too heavy to maybe getting some support as a new or not so new parent during times when your emotional equilibrium is affecting how you parent.
How do we bridge that gap between clearly needing the help and realise that the help is needed? As a therapist I might know that someone might do with a healing hand be that a listening ear, and somewhere within someone they might feel that too but something stops them. What might that be? Shame. We feel ashamed of being in a situation that makes us looking less than. We have been taught to always look and seem more than even if what’s really going on is far from.
What will it take for us to let our guard down so that our children can also benefit from having open thriving relationships as opposed to those with masks?