Nope the whole observing the breath thing really doesn’t work for me especially when I am not in the zone of watching my breath. I want to relax without using any of these tools. Can’t we just be instead of implementing something or the other to create a state that has an expiry date? No doubt our commitment might actually bring about a lasting state if through neuroplasticity we rewire our brain. A big part here will require an amygdala that’s less excitable. My doggies know they are safe with us but take a dish cloth or anything that you sway or even a sudden movement and they run a mile! Their level of alertness to danger is way up there. What of a child who has been abused or handled roughly? Yep, also on high alert. Only that this state of being in high alert creates a sense of danger even when there is nothing there. It’s a false alarm. That false alarm creates cortisol and adrenaline. Too much cortisol might actually numb you because your adrenals will become exhausted. What we then have is a person alive but without life, just a numb potato.
Okay so let’s move that numb potato out of the vegetable rack and into the frying pan so it can morph into something palatable and can renter the cycle of life. How? Relaxing. When we feel relaxed (and I don’t mean numb or even indifferent), we can literally open our hips to receive the Amrit from above. Oh my that didn’t sound right did it? Although, this my friends will be a promise made by a lot a lot of spiritualists and those who have “seen the light”.
When we sigh our parasympathetic nervous system kicks into action and creates a feeling of relaxation. That exhalation is a releasing and a regrouping. When we are tense, we might become constipated, we will freeze and become lifeless. Once we can find what it is that can relax us, our alarm bells might stop ringing at the wrong times. Can you imagine you are sleeping soundly, then boom your alarm that was set for 6am goes off at 4am, and then you can’t go back to sleep, and this happens every night. You will be in a constant state of stress. Zero calm, zero relaxation.
And that brings me to our “point zero”. It is in that state that we can simply relax and be. It our nothingness. To come to point zero we need to get inside of us. And yes really deep into the why you are. Forget about trying to figure everyone else out or thinking if I can just study so and so and know what ticks them off I can conquer them. Oh man. It’s exactly that kind of outside-in thinking that has so many of us in a trifle and not a tasty one – just gloop. How many times we fall in love and do all we can to keep them from running or straying or keep us in it. We make it our life’s mission to know the likes dislikes so on and so forth of our spouses lover friends bosses BUT what about ours?
How do we zero in?
The science of how our brains are wired is what might assist. From conception to around the time just before a toddler starts to speak, we are pretty much using a lot more of our right brain hemisphere. Most of our memories
and experiences will be stored as images and feelings. These will need to be named so that the left brain hemisphere can be engaged. Once this happens, you have the answers to how your memories shaped your alarm system. This making sense of it all, and then alerting your new sense of self to any old sense of self reactions to triggers, means that you are now resetting the level of danger that really is dangerous and one that is not at all. The extreme end of this is when people develop paranoia, have a victim personality and will believe in conspiracies and that the world is full of suspicious people maybe even reptiles disguised as people so they can carry out their agenda! This would apply to any kind of stress that your body has endured but not processed; not only do we need to “get” what happened but that will need to become a part of our story. There are no diversions buts ifs what ifs should have would have or can’t remember. You can actually have a coherent narrative which neither dismisses forgets nor minimises a past long gone.
Whatever modality seeks you out or you it, it will only work if you do most of the working in. Your usual emotional regulators shut off you will have to relive whatever had upped your stress response so that you can find it name it and then lame it! You almost have to undergo extensive training to think a certain way. And this is where all the positive affirmations and what have you come in. Many complain that the universe stills delivers crap to them. Well that’s because that “crap” is reflecting back what’s sitting inside and needs to be acknowledged. We don’t even know we are not truly relaxed until our entire support system crashes. Of course we can induce a temporary state of relaxation but as soon as you are triggered, you lose that state. Wham. Relaxation out, stress response in.
We can only really truly relax when we are in our own skin and feel a sense of safety. No matter how many security lights and cctv cameras you have routing for you, as long as they are there, you remain entrapped in a space of constant vigil outwardly when the true sense of safety lies within. What’s stopping you from finding it?