I was actually thinking about what it is that makes me need to decompress or sets me off or winds me or triggers me or makes me want to take the hair off my cute head or rip some cloth!!
It’s not my toddler. It’s not the housework or the doggies or the piles of laundry. When a friend suggested that having some house help might be useful I wondered why that wouldn’t in fact solve anything for me.
A mother even just generally any human is wired to respond to the particular sounds that her baby will make and these at times are so alarming to us they feel like little screeching on a blackboard with nails erghhhhhh. Most of us were not brought up by attuned parents but conditioned ones who followed what their ancestors created for them as their genre, and paradigm.
So, when we moaned groaned or made the different types of vocalisations before actual speech emerged, we might have been told to stop and shut up for it might have been a tad unbearable to the unaccustomed ear. That screeching really can wind you up. It’s meant to. It’s natures way of getting our attention. Ever been on a plane full of toddlers and then other passengers what do they do? Oh my the looks you might get when toddler just wants to try to test his prowess by kicking the front seater. Or wants to sit on a seat not assigned to us. Apart from that, when a baby cries this does something to a lot of us. Parents and non parents alike. We all react by zoning in or out; by responding or reacting.
Once we understand that the sound is a survival mechanism and once again natures handiwork we can honestly create a pause a breath to then tune into what that sound is for. Baby makes more than one sound. And then the toddler even more, and most of these are “me do it”, “mama I want you NOW not later”, “go away I know what I am doing”, “I don’t need your help stop trying to help me”, “I need help”, “I am frustrated as I really want to get the nail in but I can’t and don’t really want help but oh well I need it”.
Sometimes when we work against the sound it turns into a trigger for more stress and the lovely dish you were anticipating preparing for your family might just get burned. The sound itself can push you into your own stress response and you won’t know that in fact it’s that sound. You might think it’s the toys that back on the floor again, or keys you found plugged into a socket, or the dish pans hiding in your bubba’s play kitchen. Or even that you so badly want time to cover your greys go out for a run and maybe spend some time with the other half.
NADA!
It’s that sound and your reaction to it. Once we embrace that sound and know that it’s nature’s way of keeping our bubba safe, we can begin a new relationship with the whining groaning and moaning and instead pine for that sound when it’s not there.
Nature has equipped our little ones with lots of survival mechanisms and this sound is one of many. We bow to nature. And now time for a run!!