Just when you thought you haven’t got the will to pull that last little bit of hair you have left, you find the will in you to shift the focus back to bubba and his meltdown instead of act on your own reaction.
Then magic happens. Bubba feels cared for understood and his sense of self just went up a few notches as well as his sense of self worth.
Yep, these sudden excitatory mood changes are all to be celebrated. Bubba’s sense of self has arrived. If you thwart it by trying to kill his fire you are telling him he cannot and does not have the right to be himself. And this line of thought will turn into belief and here’s where our self worth issue stem from. Make sense?
So how would you like to be approached if you don’t have the language and cannot vocalise into a congruent sentence what you want and so you yell scream stomp your feet? And then the one person who is your anchor and support and one you can be you with, tells you to SHUT UP, be quiet, one more word and you know what, or that’s it time out!!!! Woooooooo.
You have just managed to create a lot of confusion in this little guy and maybe start saving for therapy in his later years or maybe broken relationships. He will never want to not idolise you as that’s like death to an infant to think their caregiver is not safe or trusted. It’s unthinkable.
So, instead try this. Go down to his level. Ask him what happened. Perhaps offer to pick him up give him a cuddle. Take him for a walk. But whatever you do just make sure he knows that you are there and an infallible source of comfort for him. If it was the knife he wanted to play with explain once he is calmer why he cannot and offer an alternative. And maybe he is acting super contrary and you don’t know what to do. So, tell him that. I don’t know what to do. Stay with him and ride the mood.
Provide all the opportunities for bubba to grow as an individual as opposed to a tailor made version of what might keep your ego satisfied. Seriously don’t kid yourself!!! It’s not about you at all right now. And when it starts to become about you, then you check in and start a timeline that takes you back to that same stage in your life into how you were patented and what you may have picked up.
No pressure just take your time. In the meanwhile, BREATHE. Relax, there is no danger here, it’s only your loved little one who is very age appropriately coming into full form! Enjoy and savour it all.