Hmmm does that feel good? Oh definitely yes. Does it feel right? Maybe not but definitely panders to my taste buds. Oh I didn’t like the sound of that message. I think they are bent upon having the upper hand. Why hasn’t she called me back? Oh maybe her work is more important. What you want to give up our sex life because you think it takes you away from your godly self? No no I won’t have it. Oh I guess let’s do as you please after all I can’t live without you.
Do any of the above feel familiar? How many times our own motions in life coming from emotion mind or consciousness? Are we ever neutral? Or so we always have a feeling a sense or a higher knowingness? Perhaps what looks like intuition is in fact mind garbed as a clever intuit?
You see when the consciousness is engaged, there is a quite non attachment to how things are, ought to be, or can be. We watch our own awareness, we observe our interactions and become ever more consciousness oriented because our thirst for self mastery is insurmountable. After all there’s infinity of us to cover.
As you tread on that path, you suddenly realise you cannot be the best version let alone any authentic version of you because your mother father sister husband wife simply won’t have it. Their worlds will fall apart and you definitely don’t want to be the one responsible even if it means dimming your light and quest for realising yourself. Tarry a while – be gentle with yourself because even this resistance will pass as you grow. For a while be that people pleaser, the one to keep the peace, the one never to utter a word lest the heavy hand of judgement befalls, threatening to lose our loved ones. As long as you are aware that is what you are doing. No mind just awareness.
To realise oneself is a lonely path. It takes courage and a lot of balls to really come out of your shell. No amount of spiritual practice or books or anything will bring yourself to you. Only your commitment will. Only your awareness will. And most importantly your non attachment will.
When our life is led by our consciousness our decisions are neutral with a spirit of surrender to the outcome. There is no desire to control or contort the outcome. Your desire to be you supersedes all attachment.
Till then you are led by emotion and the mind. Perhaps, for now, it’s just how it’s to be.
Or?
Blessings
Mama Kee x