Agh not another sleep little less night. The phone rings. Potential client. Woohoo. But wait a minute. No, sorry no can do. That will have to wait till our routine establishes itself. Am too bloody sleep deprived to hold a conversation let alone piece myself together to drive to a decent park or even to a friends for chai. Erghhh, I just need my sleep.
Wait a minute – this sounds like I am depending on what’s outside of me to make me feel all so together again so I can gain momentum. Come on, little bubba is doing what is natural to him at this age. The anxiety I am experiencing has nothing to do with him – it is my own heavy reliance and dependence on him to get into rhythm therefore misaligning me from my own nature of wholeness that is causing the imbalance.
Whether it’s to wait till our children are older for us to “do stuff” or for other factors to fall into place, these are all carrying the same notes of codependency except it’s not in a relationship scenario. It stems from a perfectionist tendency to want certain boxes to be ticked so the canvas is just how you want it before you start. Well, if you are waiting for that chunk of time, you might in fact be waiting for a fantasy to materialise.
Take action in small steps and these will go a long way.
Rather than focus on what you think is in the way of you getting to do what you want, look at what you can do right now. If your toddler has sleep issues chances are it’s the anxiety you are feeling that’s rubbing off on him so that he doesn’t get a chance to laugh his penny up emotions off and therefore the stress is building up. To get that imbalance sorted, start with the changes you can make. How can you work with the situation and make it your ally?
Codependency comes in many many forms. Perhaps you rely on the hit you get when you drink a particular beverage and don’t even know that you do. Or when you feel stressed out you might suddenly want to eat stuff you normally wouldn’t. Go for a walk instead of simply become aware that you are in need of respite and reprieve. Give yourself that.
Our stress response is a very special mechanism indeed because when it is triggered we have a beautiful gateway that opens up to show us how we deal with imbalances. These tell tales will then lead you into a whole array of tools available to bring real balance instead of a contrived one.
Contrived because when your stress response does get triggered, you are likely not to lose emotional equilibrium when fully balanced and whole. Unrealistic? Idealistic? Maybe, maybe not.
Deprivation of the sense pleasures would create some sort of stress response, and once again offer an opportunity to transcend even the senses.
We have at our disposal a plethora of tools to overcome the animal brain in us to the human into the divine.
What are you dependent on? Can you think of any projects that are waiting?