What’s your frame of mind right now? Do you really think that something in you will change “if only” you have this or that? Or you are in the waiting room. Waiting for love to happen, a job to come through, the lottery to draw in your favour, your dream home, your children to start listening to you…. We can carry on with the list to no end, because there is no end to our “if only” and “what ifs”!
Here’s the secret. Whatever it is you feel will shift within you as a result of anything on the outside of you, it won’t. Nada. Because that shift can only happen from within. Cliche it is, but, true so, too.
I thought I would feel happy or more fulfilled by becoming a wife and a mother. Did I? No, because that hollow in me still remained. It went as soon as I owned it as mine to do what I may with it. Not for it to be filled by something or someone or even a God saviour, but by little old me.
There are many many such instances in our daily living when we pass the onus of feeling fulfilled or fully alive even, on something outside of us. If you are already feeling a certain way, anything on the outside whether it’s a new job, more money, a new love, a dream home, a conception, will only serve as a temporary band aid, which will have to be changed as soon as it’s gets damp again. You can’t keep changing band aid.
Check in, look at why you want something so bad, what in you is craving what. If it’s a significant other, perhaps you need connection. And if it’s connection, then search out the root cause of that lack of connectedness. Get even deeper. In between the dotting, your mind might say, ah that’s it and you might feel ah I don’t want to dig anymore there’s nothing there. Just then, dig a bit more.
It’s great to have an imagination and a list of wants needs and desires. But, it’s magnificent when we feel fulfilled so much so that we have without the need to need want or desire.