If you are lost for zeal enthusiasm and that buzz for life you could do with “stimulation”! Are you reaching out for foods with a kick? Maybe something exhilarating to do? Is one orgasm simply not cutting it? Your sex life feels like it needs a do over? Or maybe the mantra you have been chanting over and over has left you feeling all hung and dry without any zinger for life? You want to have fun enjoy life and feel super challenged enthused stimulated charged and more bit for some reason you either don’t know where to start or feel trapped. And then that feeling of emptiness and apathy. How do I gather the courage to laugh to feel and really really cry. What happened? Why can’t I fully feel?
So, just as so many of us will be the ones who go get and fight when their survival is threatened, some of us will simply freeze and play dead so we don’t get seen heard or be a bother. It’s what a lot of children do when they are constantly at the behest of an ever sighing caregiver who is showing that the child is a burden even maybe without that way intended. The child registers burden, and will either play up by seeking attention even negatively, or cower hide and recoil into his shell.
We become numb when we give up. A sort of apathy fills our space. A change of o life situations might give us a short term boost but we will return to that feeling of apathy. Why do we feel so dead without purpose mostly lost in a fantasy of an imagined life you wish to have lived or live. You crave a bigger house, the option to travel at will, and to be free from the mind. But more than that you yearn the “buzz”. The spark of life. The excitement of wow today’s my day.
If you can trace this feeling you might find a little you who interpreted events in such a way that shut you down. To get you into an alive mode you might take to stimulants and even spiritual paths. Hey all in vain for all you do is put a plaster around a very old wound instead of letting yourself go deep into the crevice of that wound.
How do you go deep?
Stop all forms of emotional regulation and remove all your time fillers. One day at a time.
In effect you are building a modern day cave to meditate in. Zero distractions. You can then go into the why you are. What will you be or do without anything to regulate you?
