I have finally sat down having settled bubba for the night and delighted in my heavenly snack. Once again, inspired by my little bubba – a concoction of peanut butter with coconut cacao and maple syrup.
Earlier today, I posted a blog about whether to get the Covid jab or not. I had to stop the post where I did, to attend to my little bundle who started to stir just before he fully awoke to then lovingly run up to his mama and jump up for cuddles. Gosh, I thought then, I hope this never ends, I love these moments!
A little clarification on the first set of us that are just anti vaccination – when I mentioned “zero hypocrisy” it was that they are not suddenly prone to making the decision to get the Covid jab and that they are true to their belief.
Equally, we all are, in whichever way, we choose to go. The only thing is, to remove the story that needs to go with your decision, and to have the heart to accept someone else’s decision, without judgment. No drama.
One of my friends said “ I just don’t need it for now, later maybe but right now no I don’t feel minded to get it regardless of all the theories around this”. And this friends is following your own call and that needn’t be the subject to any form of criticism or even a delineation. We don’t want to ostracise. Don’t worry travel restrictions are just a bit of irrational throwing of ideas in the air right now, it won’t happen it can’t anyway. We are bigger.
Believe it or not, whether you take the vaccine or not, we are pretty much all on the same side. We are already scouting for each other in ways we may not see quite yet.
Your total experience of you is what will steer you in either direction. In my case, I hadn’t given it much thought till I got the call. Now, I have my way set out very clearly for me which I am about to share with you all.
Most of my conversations yesterday was with the nay sayers for whatever the reasons were, and I too, came to the conclusion that I would cancel my appointment not because I don’t believe in the efficacy of the vaccine but that it won’t make any difference in my own life especially in the way we live. For me when the pandemic happened I was having a personal life crisis and only new at being a mama with zero support. I needed time to heal my wounds and integrate all of the parts of me that had hidden for fear of denigration. It was my time to return to wholeness, to live in my child like state again and really have a brand new childhood while I consciously and actively parent.
Just before I received this call, I had already started the process of getting myself seen and heard by others. I reconnected with so many loving friends and family. The next step for me was naturally going to be to visit nearby nature reserves. Apart from settling my inner world, in my outer I was keen to see that my doggies are also happy and feeling loved before I start to leave them for short periods of time and slowly work up to taking them with us, once we are comfortable with the new places we visit. The logistics of walking three little doggies and one little bubba with all their snacks and what have you takes a little planning and a whole bale of courage strength and determination of course underlined with only love.
Just as I ready myself to emerge, I get a call. And then follows a lot of listening discussing and then more listening and this time to just my inner voice. Although what happened today was more like an acting without thought.
By the time I wrote the blog today I had still no decision about whether I would take the jab or not. We had our lunch and straight after that started the hunt for the lost car keys. Suddenly I found myself grab the spare key get us ready dash into the car and get the directions out to the vaccination centre. Zero thought, this is all happening automatically. We get there I then reverse the car and drive back home. Little bubba doesn’t want to go back in the house so we prance around in the front garden only for little bubba to show me where the lost keys are – laying on a tuft of grass. Woohoo!
I call my mother and immediately let her know that I have made my decision to take the vaccination.
And then I looked back and asked myself what changed.
Here it is.
Yesterday gone I only thought about me. Today came and I only thought about us. If me taking the vaccine means someone I could potentially transmit the virus to might be safer especially if vulnerable then I want to play my part in the whole. I in fact know of a school age child who passed on the virus to his mama who is no longer with us.
Today, my focus shifted from me. I am too small and too little in all of this, and I know too little about the virus or the vaccine to make any fleeting statements. I realised that I am nobody to even have any reasons because His will is His will. What is to happen for me will happen. I am acting out my script. It might say I take a turn and crash into a lorry boom gone in a few moments; it could be corona. Who knows.
What I do know is that there is a bigger picture and a higher being looking out for all of us whether we take the jab or not, and whether that means dying or falling sick because of taking it or not taking it. All I know is that I am being called to participate in maybe reducing the impact of the virus that has swept the globe and for me it is in taking it. For you, it might be in not taking it that you are called to play your part. Either way we have our backs covered.
I know it’s all very jarring in how our lives were suddenly turned upside down and the speed with which vaccines came out is suspect for some. A virus that has affected us all and made us live akin to wartimes. It has also been a time when many of us have lost our loved ones; some of us have had it ourselves; we have lost livelihoods developed mental illnesses; some have been liberated and returned to wholeness.
There in an uncertainty in the air and within us, something that says wait a minute it doesn’t seem right. And then we might say, that’s okay I think it’s alright now. It’s a lot to take on which is why now is the time that we support each other and respect our decisions. We don’t need an explanation even for ourselves, we might just feel what we feel and that’s all. And it’s okay. It is all okay. These are understandably very very unnerving times but also a reflection of our resilience. Look at the sudden spark of creativity in some of us, and even the kindheartedness that some have shown.
Let us not add one more thing to contend with, which is each other. Love and let love.
Finally, wish me luck!!