So many of us look around the internet and think ah I could have written that, or I know that, and maybe even, darn it I could have manufactured that if I had the resources only to find it was started from point zero, just an idea that got viral! We all want to present our unique greatness to the world and add value to others lives. But we ask, what is our product? You then search the internet and friends for answers about yourself. Instead of feeling like you are making headway, you are ever more confused. After all, what you have to say to the world is already out there and has already been said and shared so many times. Even the face cream you have so diligently put together is already out in the market. That idea you had about opening an easy cafe already exists just a stones throw away from your little hood.
The two things that come to mind are:
1, What in us seeks to be original, in what we bring to the world as our value, for which we might expect, an exchange?
2, What is original?
Our masked self which is our ego self loves drama and loves the feeling of being special, and the only one that has come up with an invention. We desperately want to be acknowledged and seen for what we can achieve and enthuse our delightedness in our invention and finding. You find the truth and you want to shout out loud and share with the world only to then stumble on many others who have also found that very same truth whether it comes as an invention or innovation. That takes you aback, and you think, ah forget it I simply won’t make it as there are already too many with the same idea out there, and they already have a niche and following.
Folks, with this mask on, you are pretty much doomed because you will always find another version of what you have to add out there. Nothing is original, it is simply remastered and rebranded. Yoga started just as yoga. Now yoga is a fashion statement and a bit like prada Gucci Dior we have so many styles of yoga. That different style is a product of the mask. We want so desperately to be acknowledged and seen for our unique self, that we even create offshoots and put our little stamps on something that really isn’t ours or unique at all. Even trying so hard to stand out is not unique. Masks love this.
As a toddler we love to explore and totally love being watched and appreciated. We want to feel special and important. Our sense of self is on high tide and we want to ride it. It feels so good to be the only amazing thing happening in town. And then your mama decides to shift her focus on her own work or just to something else, that for a minute, seems more important, at least in the toddlers mind. Oh my – all hell breaks loose! Can you see it coming? He might start to stomp his feet and ask that you attend to him NOW. Chances are you might just do that because you can’t bear a tantrum, but what happens when you tell him not now bubba? His excitement literally morphs into a feeling of rejection. Remember his little brain lacks the finesses to understand the true situation.
It is that sort of not acknowledging your child’s enthusiasm about something, or sharing in his sense of having achieved a feat, that might cascade into a very low self esteem. This might then get triggered by the “comparing to others” syndrome when you realise you are not the only one out there with the same idea.
On the other hand when we retain as much of the child’s wholeness by participating in their experiences, we stop that need to compare the self in others. Their infantile need of being seen and appreciated as unique and special is met.
The Truth and how it translates itself so that it is readily available to everyone will come in all different shapes and sizes. It remains constant and it is simply its rendition that makes it look like it’s been reinvented. A bit like the book “the secret” by Rhonda Byrne, and it’s predecessors such as “the hidden power” by ThomasTroward. Yet when the secret came out wow it took the world like it was the first time we had some sort of miracle work being written. It’s always been there. We are lazy. We don’t want to or rather don’t want to do the work to consciously return to our original self by our self, yet want to maintain a sense of an original product and value we can add. How does this happen without any sense of original self? It will be just another copycat version of what you think sounds like you but it still won’t be yours.
What is original is our unique self. Our version of the original truth will add our blueprint to it which is the only one out there. And you get that only by accessing your own original self.
Once you find yourself then you are simply not phased by what’s out there and you might not even look at what’s out there or care much for it. You are only concerned with getting yourself out there in a way that befits you. When we think about what might benefit others you might even tailor what you have to offer which is fine as long as the essence of you remains intact. To people please is generated by a need to be accepted. Critical parents, controlling ones, all add if not instigate the whole being fragmented.
Step back into your adolescence years and then even further back until you get to when you were conceived. Try to make sense of all that comes. Maybe even pen it down. Locate the root of that feeling of I can only add value if I am different, or that you have to beat yourself about something until it seems perfect, or that life simply can’t be easy and readily available. You might not find your answers in this same language but the feelings will have a flavour. That’s your compass, use it.
Engaged presence in a toddlers journey is paramount. Look around you. How many grown up toddlers can you see out there? Most of us are stuck at this stage- we are developmentally arrested. Why do we fight of bicker at petty things? Why do we crave attention? Well, is that you the adult or you the toddler that needs to feel special?
Our children need the whole of us. Start getting your whole self to them. Having said that, personally I believe that we are all happening when we happen. So if it’s when bubba gets here so be it. Just don’t give in to automatic reactions losing your brain somewhere in the process.
Put simply, when you realise your wholeness you no longer seek to be different let alone seek to be – you just are. After all, the Truth can never be changed hence we are finding the same Truth but our masks seek that difference in the “Truth” reflective of a not yet fully integrated whole or simply not yet whole yet. And one that is insecure. We want to see what we need to measure up to. That’s okay, take your time, the universe has your back covered. Just believe in yourself and know you are loved unconditionally by the original creator of us anyway even if that love you crave didn’t come from the sources you first sprang from. It’s okay. You were and are always loved. And being love you might even drop the need to love or be loved.
Start owning your story. How, it is written and unfolds, only YOU can determine. You have a blank canvas. Start the work. Paint the rest of your life having made sense of what’s past.
What you envision as your fullness you have already received and are already that in the present. Bring that into your awareness and the next steps will as if by magic appear.
Only seek yourself out of the crap – the rest will follow. Your wholeness will guide you. It already is, can you see?